Ancestor Explorer Pillows

"I knew my pest would eventually catch up with me."

"Paul meets his great (x100,000,000) grandfather, Mervin."

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Circus Act

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

Since you conduct only thought-experiments, we were hoping you would, from time to time, come up with some thought-results.

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'Life'

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"This is one of his early works, from before he was able to throw the paint and actually hit the canvas."

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

"I traced my family tree. This is it."

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

'I come from a long line of Sunday roasts...'