Ancestor Detective Pillows

"I hope you don't mind me saying but I think your husband might have got the wrong end of the stick about this tracing your ancestors thing."

Genealogy convention

"When you said you wanted to track down your ancestors I thought you meant on the internet!"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'At a guess I'd say it's one of the lesser Pharoahs.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

God changes His will.

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

'Omigosh! According to your resume, we share the same father!'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Thomas Hunt Morgan

"We've found your birth mother."

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

Sir Rupert Murgatroyd

"My mom was a Holstein-Friesian, and my dad was the King of Diamonds."

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

'I did our branch of the family tree. Turns out we're birch and northern pine.'

"Ooh, Dave. Your DNA results have come back! According to this, you're 10% German, 15% Irish, and 75% layabout."

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

'...and that's my great-great-great uncle Wilbur. He died of smoke inhalation when his mustache caught on fire.'

"...then I take out one of these, ll them it's an ancestor, and try to sell it to them."

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

'Testing, testing, once upon a time, testing...'

'My family tree suffered dry rot in 1871.'

'Try searching Criminal Records for your father's family history.'

George's ancestry was unusual.