Ancestry Explorer Pillows

'According to this genealogy website, I'm 60,765228th in line to the throne!'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

Genealogists, let us trace you family tree - "We've managed to trace your ancestors back to your Dave."

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

Some breeds are ancestry friendly...

"Neat ancestors - biological?"

"I'm sure you'll find this exciting, we've traced your lineage back to an African tribe in the serengeti!"

"I'm trying to trace my ancestors but it's a mammoth task."

'I come from a long line of Sunday roasts...'

He's been impossible ever since his internet search showed he was 163rd in line to the throne

Rodney's family tree was a lot shorter than most.

GENEALOGY - FAMILY TREE RESEARCH, 'Whoa! -- John Wilkes Booth AND Benedict Arnold?'

'I'm tracing our family tree, and guess who's the sap?.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'There's a huge gap between Adam and Eve and Gran'ma Kirby...'

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

Incestry.com

"How about England? Our forefathers left to escape a tyrant so we’d be going full circle."

"First, I want you to cut way back on the Ancestry.com."

"It belonged to my great great great. . . . creepy Uncle Edgar."

"You're the hardest client we've ever had."

"The country grandpa came from was a stinking hellhole of unspeakable poverty where everyone was always happy."

"My goodness, I had no idea people from California had ancestors!"

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

'I demand a DNA test.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

'He's got your nose.'

Gone Fishing

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"