Genealogy Explorers Pillows

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

Several generations live together in Cuba

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

Family DNA

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'I demand a DNA test.'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

Conspiracy Theory Books

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

'Of course he reminds you of yourself at his age -- he's your clone.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'Nuts, nuts, nothing but nuts!' When Squirrels Search Their Family Trees.

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

"That's two days after you were born."

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

Antcestry.com

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"