Genealogical Adventurer Pillows

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

At the Museum

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Several generations live together in Cuba

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'Somehow an electronic fish finder just isn't as exciting as a 'Ben fish finder'.'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"That is why you never forget your roots."

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

"That's two days after you were born."

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'