Ancestry Adventurer Pillows

"Let's see now...genealogy books...genealogy books..."

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

'I traced your genealogy. Better have a seat.'

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

When you said you were going to track down your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET.

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

"Since Gerald discovered he had 5% Viking DNA he insists on fitting in a bit of pillaging before tea."

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

B**tard, B**tard & B**tard - Genealogists

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"I took one of those DNA test kits and turns out we are our ancestors."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

"Have I ever showed you our family tree?"

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"I traced my family tree. This is it."

"...then I take out one of these, ll them it's an ancestor, and try to sell it to them."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

Man: 'My Family tree is overrun with Woodpeckers.'

'I didn't even know there WERE people like this!'

'We've traced you back to the cartoonist who drew you.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

'I just wanted to hear about him - I didn't want to see him!'

At the Museum

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

You had me at vintage.

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!