Ancestral Adventurers Pillows

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

You had me at vintage.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

"When was your last meta-physical?"

Jurassic Country Club.

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

Floating Dragon

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

"Go with Hannibal if you must."

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

"When your father was your age, he saw a tiny spider in that cave and made a wee-wee in his pants."

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

'Words of wisdom? OK, how about, next time take the elevator.'

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

'Rome wasn't built in a day, you know!'

"Instant? In my day they used to make it from scratch."

'He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it.'