Ancestry Adventurers Pillows

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

At the Museum

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

You had me at vintage.

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'One of my forebears.'

Bob suddenly felt uncertain about the journey which lay ahead.

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

"When your father was your age, he saw a tiny spider in that cave and made a wee-wee in his pants."

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"