Ancestry Adventurers T-Shirts

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

At the Museum

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

You had me at vintage.

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

'One of my forebears.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

Bob suddenly felt uncertain about the journey which lay ahead.

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

Dave's most treasured possession was the picture he had of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

"When your father was your age, he saw a tiny spider in that cave and made a wee-wee in his pants."

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"