Ancestry Explorers Pillows

'And that potato was your Mother's great-great-Grandfather.'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'I demand a DNA test.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'One of my forebears.'

Conspiracy Theory Books

'Of course he reminds you of yourself at his age -- he's your clone.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

"I traced my family tree. This is it."

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."