Ancestor Aficionado Pillows

"This is your great-great-great-great grandfather Felipe. If he was alive, he'd be a very famous man."

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

A new meaning in the Roman

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Grandfather Clock

Johannes Gutenberg

'One of my forebears.'

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Capt. Ahab's landlocked brother Morab, searching for the white elephant.

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

F&E Antiques. Ernie, tell customers that we restocked our inventory, not that we have "all new antiques."

'Sorry, I'm married to that one.'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

Lady visiting the 1862 International Exhibition fands that the omnibuses ruin her crinolines

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

Salvage Hunters