Quirky Family History Buff Pillows

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Nobody Upstages Trump!

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

The best time capsules are our children.

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

'Sorry, but I can't see a family resemblance...'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

Cat scratch fever

"I'll bet he's got your personality."

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

Don't disturb yourself, mum; there's nothing in it that'll smash.

I think in order to be historically accurate you're meant to remove the quill from the bird BEFORE you start trying to write with it!

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

The Frankenstein monster's photo album.

"We've finished compiling each of your family trees."

"Not one of the Dartford Warblers?"

Franklin Pierce

'...and that's my great-great-great uncle Wilbur. He died of smoke inhalation when his mustache caught on fire.'

"This is your great-grandmother Juana. She used to gossip about every member of the family! It's a long family tradition."