Quirky Family History Buff Gifts

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Nobody Upstages Trump!

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Ma didn't want to leave out anyone."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

The best time capsules are our children.

"You just made medical history Mr Burnside. Your're the first one ever struck by lightning while on a bed pan."

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

"This is your great-great-great grandfather Luis. He met your great-great-great-grandmother at the store where she worked. He was there to buy a lawn mower! She sold him a sheep. They hadn't invented law mowers."

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

Cat scratch fever

That was scary! When I opened the closet, all my family movies, tapes and DVDs tumbled down on me! Your entire life passed before your eyes!

'Sorry, but I can't see a family resemblance...'

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

Ask Not What Your Country Can Do for You

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

"I'll bet he's got your personality."

Don't disturb yourself, mum; there's nothing in it that'll smash.

The Frankenstein monster's photo album.

I think in order to be historically accurate you're meant to remove the quill from the bird BEFORE you start trying to write with it!

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

Franklin Pierce

'...and that's my great-great-great uncle Wilbur. He died of smoke inhalation when his mustache caught on fire.'

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

"This is your great-grandmother Juana. She used to gossip about every member of the family! It's a long family tradition."

"We've finished compiling each of your family trees."