Ancestry Discovery Pillows

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'One of my forebears.'

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'Scientists at the Human Genome Project have located a gene that makes us want to constantly look for our name on search engines.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

'It's a coat of arms, not a logo.'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

'Last year Frank tried tracing back his roots but came back empty!'

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

"Just your resume. We're not interested in the DNA testing."

"I traced my family tree. This is it."

In today's lesson, we'll talk about our ancestors 'The Mammoths'