Dinner Delivery Devotee Gifts

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

LAY ZEE FUK

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Heavy meals on wheels

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'How would you like your toast?'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"A votre sante!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Just a drop."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'