Dinner Date Dramatist Gifts

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Oh, how sweet of you."

The Perfect Foil

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Tasty bird.'

'I hope you agree, sir. They don't come any fresher than this!'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

"I like you and all, Carl, but you've just got too many problems."

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

'All right, I agree with you.'

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

"What will change my life?"

"Would you care for something to talk about during dinner?"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

Trick questions...

"I'll wait, my wife's in the loo."

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."