Dinner Date Humorist Gifts

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'Your French dip, sir.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'I just come here for the ambiance. The food's lousy, so ordered a pizza be delivered.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"Would you like any suburbs, or just the check?"

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Alright. I get it. You're a doctor!'

'I don't usually find worms attractive,but as soon as I saw him I was hooked!'

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

"Waiter, there are needles in my stew."

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

"Table five looks good. We’ll have that."

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'We had that last night.'