Diners And Dives Fan Gifts

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Can I have flies with that'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"How about a little more coffee?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

"The usual."

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.