Digital World Newbie Gifts

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

I.T. Fear

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

Cat Asleep on a Computer.

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Tales from the crypto: The returns are killer!

"Does he byte?"

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

It was after her third failed attempt at deciphering the captcha that Rachel began to suspect...

Hits Needed, please click.

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

'We should be hibernating, not cybernating.'

Computer Key Office

"Didn't we have a dog with us when we left the house?"

Dead Workaholic

"Mr. Jenkins,n you can't pinch and zoom the eye chart to make it bigger, now come back and let's finish your eye exam..."

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

"Yes, dear, our computers are very user-friendly."

"Have you ever felt you were just a random NPC in an asymmetrical multiplayer open world survival video game?"

"I'm writing a book on everything I don't know about technology. It's a lot longer than I originally thought."

'Don't get smart with me!'

Man, dining at formal restaurant, has a place set for his beloved cell phone across the table.

Social Media

A man and his dog glued to their phones

"If a website crashes on the Internet and nobody goes there, does it matter?"

Accessing the internet.

"Gosh, I don't know. It will text, and take pictures, and I can go online. It will do messaging and plays 47 games. . . but I've never tried to make a phone call with it!"

'You should think about signing up for a computer course. Every time you finish using the computer you leave correction fluid all over the monitor.'

Computer use issues

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