Digital Newcomer Gifts

"There are a lot of apps on this, but where are the main courses?"

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

The Computer Bore

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Not that net!'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

Evolution.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

Early Adopter...Early Opt-Outer

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Cellphone Islands

WiFi Signals

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

'I keep very close touch with the office in case things are running too smoothly without me.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

The World Wide Web.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Computer monitor for a head.

"Now you can send it."

"I'll go back to school if you go back to the office."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Baby Screen Time

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."