Digital Mischief Maker Pillows

"We met online after stealing each other's identities."

Son hacks into computer to get a job

"Tech support? Yeah, how do I add a 'Hate Me On Facebook' button to my website?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

Occupational Hazards.

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

Mozart swimming.

Timpani for the devil

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"It's an app that lets me pointlessly knock things off tables when I'm not at home."

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'According to the previous exercise's logic, this time the result must be six.'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

Frankie the discount genie

'You're the only person I know who takes divots on the green.'

The concert that never was. . .

"This is getting serious! He's asked me if I'd like to troll the internet with him tonight."

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

"You mihgt have fallen our with Uncle Hamish, but he likes me. He's given me his bag pipes."

'No pennies.'

"You couldn't just be a whistleblower, could you?"