Digital Guardians Gifts

Today's youth and their challenges

"I'm always worried about what my son is downloading from the internet, and what my daughter is uploading to it."

Hate Platforms

"He likes it."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

"I think Baxter needs a break."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Computer Virus

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'

The sheep are much easier to keep track of now. They spend all day watching clips on Ewe Tube!

"That computer has a second virus protection software. . . it's my mom."