Cybersecurity Guardian Gifts

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

Lynching on social media

Hate Platforms

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

The proper way to wear your mask

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"I think Baxter needs a break."

Information Security

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

Computer Virus

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'

Computer password.

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"The jocks bullied me in gym class, so I erased all the data on their computers. They should know never to mess with a computer geek."