Tech Guardians Gifts

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"He likes it."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

Things that go beep in the night.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

The proper way to wear your mask

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Mobile phone damage to children.

'I fell out of my treestand but fortunately nothing got hurt.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Cyberwarfare

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Childhood Screen Addict

Information Security

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

Computer Virus