Cyber Guardians Gifts

"You heard me. Hand over your lunch money or I hack into your Facebook account."

The Jeopardy of Progress

Lynching on social media

"He likes it."

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

Computer Virus

Forest Management

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

Computer password.

Save the tree.

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

"The jocks bullied me in gym class, so I erased all the data on their computers. They should know never to mess with a computer geek."

"It's your turn, kid."

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

We Value Your Privacy (Actually, we value it at around $20 a pop for every organization we sell it to).

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

A Conservation Biologist Goes for Therapy

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."