Digital Confidants Pillows

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Spa Dog

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'Does it come on Disc?'

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

'Internet access... internet access....'

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

"I think I'm a big dog."

"I'm not sure if my name is sit, stay, or get off the couch!"