Canine Confidants Pillows

'Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.' 'I wish I could but I'm not allowed on the couch.'

"I think my master is having a midlife crisis: he's adopted a "rapper look"! So embarassing when we go on our walk..."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm working from home today."

"This never happened."

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

Time for tea and friendship.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

Chasebook

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Personal Assistants.

'Tired of fetching?'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

'Who's best friend are you?'

Dog fetches dice

"Oh. It's you."

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."