Dog House Confidant Pillows

"I'm working from home today."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"He ran out of pee."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

Dog Restroom

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"