Cat Confidant Pillows

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

'Here's another one that'll give you a big laugh.'

He suspected the cat was cheating.

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm working from home today."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Rocking Witches.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Your love gives me strength."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

Mog The Week

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Meow Power Demolition team.

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

Personal Assistants.

Salvador Dali's cats.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'