Canine Confidants Gifts

'Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.' 'I wish I could but I'm not allowed on the couch.'

"I think my master is having a midlife crisis: he's adopted a "rapper look"! So embarassing when we go on our walk..."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm working from home today."

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

"This never happened."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

Chasebook

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Tired of fetching?'

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

The Life of Riley...

'Who's best friend are you?'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Dog fetches dice