Pet Confidant Gifts

"We ALL talk to our pets. It's only a concern when they talk back, right?"

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm working from home today."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

"I think I'm a big dog."

'Okay, I promise I won't shout at you, because you're on the couch.'

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'