Digital Confidante Pillows

"I think A.I. understands me more than my family does."

Hate Platforms

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Time for tea and friendship.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

French suppers.

"I think Baxter needs a break."

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

People told me virtual dating was safe!

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'