Confidante Pillows

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

A baby playing on a grand piano

Time for tea and friendship.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Wearing bras in 2020.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

French suppers.

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

'I don't trust carry-out food. . . when you find a hair in my cooking, you don't hafta worry about where it came from!'