Coffee Confidant Pillows

"Can I ask your advice about something you'd rather not know about me?"

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Reading the sports pages.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Personal Assistants.

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

French suppers.

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'