Coffee Confidant Mugs

"Can I ask your advice about something you'd rather not know about me?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

Time for tea and friendship.

Reading the sports pages.

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Personal Assistants.

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

French suppers.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."