Coffee Buddy Pillows

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"I just have this unmistakeable urge to come out."

"The worst part of the job is dealing with people in despair, people at the end of the tether. . . and that's just my colleagues."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Burning the midnight oil.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Man's best friends."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

You've Had Enough!

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

'I know it's gassy...'

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Teapot

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Broken Alarm Clock.