Coffee Companion Pillows

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

'How long has what been going on?'

"I'm somewhere between O. and K."

Reading the sports pages.

"Thing about human interest stories is, they always presume you're interested in humans."

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"What catalogs are you reading today?"

"I could argue about foot and mouth until the cows come home."

'Things are going great with Mark although he can be a little possessive.'

'It was horrible! - I dreamed I was attacked by Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck RESCUED me!'

'He's very protective of me. Don't move a muscle or he'll kill you. Coffee?'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'There is no point in having a spoon rest on the counter for the coffee stirrer, if you're not going to use it!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I heard they mate for life."

Dolphin friendly tuna

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

Running Latte

Best friends without borders.

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Pretty Soon: Robot pets won't provide the valuable life lessons flesh pets did.

Pumpkin Spice

"If you give me a penny for my thoughts, and I put my two cents in, I'll still be short a penny."

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."