Confidante Gifts

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Time for tea and friendship.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

A baby playing on a grand piano

"Your love gives me strength."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Personal Assistants.

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

Spa Dog

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

Wearing bras in 2020.

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

French suppers.

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"