Canine Confidante Gifts

Dog waiting in a car for his owner to return from the pharmacy

"You're hard to surprise!'

"Fetch, Millennia. ... Or don’t fetch. Either way, you’re perfect!"

'What're you complaining about? At least you don't lead a dog's life!'

Cat steals food from owner who is distracted by feeding the dog.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm working from home today."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

French suppers.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'