Critter Confidante Gifts

"I think I just chased the wrong squirrel."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm working from home today."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

Super pets.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

Time for tea and friendship.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Personal Assistants.

Spa Dog

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

French suppers.

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

Wearing bras in 2020.

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'