Confidential Confidant Gifts

"Baldo, you deserve this raise. But please don't tell anybody what I'm paying you."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Personal Assistants.

Spa Dog

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Wearing bras in 2020.

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

Mums at play group.

"I'm not sure if my name is sit, stay, or get off the couch!"

"I think I'm a big dog."