Trusted Confidant Gifts

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Personal Assistants.

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

Mums at play group.

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"I'm not sure if my name is sit, stay, or get off the couch!"

"I think I'm a big dog."

'Okay, I promise I won't shout at you, because you're on the couch.'