Counselor Confidante Gifts

Vinyl Analysis

Time for tea and friendship.

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Wearing bras in 2020.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

He's crying again. Should he see a therapist?

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

Cat steals food from owner who is distracted by feeding the dog.

"Have you considered laughing into the abyss?"

"Fetch, Millennia. ... Or don’t fetch. Either way, you’re perfect!"

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

'My psychiatrist told me to take up a hobby, so I became a psychiatrist.'

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"I'm sorry—I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

'I have a big inferiority complex. I don't have a web site.'

'He saved his dog before he saved me during the hurricane!'