Cyber Confidant Pillows

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Time for tea and friendship.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Personal Assistants.

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"Glen, I'm not just your editor. I'm also your best friend, and I'm telling you, lose the cat."

"So tell me, what exactly does fear smell like?"

"I know she's only pretending to throw the ball but I still run for it."

Mums at play group.

"I'm not sure if my name is sit, stay, or get off the couch!"

'I always keep him on a leash when I take him for a walk...'

"I think I'm a big dog."