Digital Confidante Gifts

"I think A.I. understands me more than my family does."

Hate Platforms

Time for tea and friendship.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'You wouldn't believe the day I've had.'

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"I think Baxter needs a break."

French suppers.

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

'Have you been giving them too many tweets again?'

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

'These computer viruses are getting more and more powerful.'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

People told me virtual dating was safe!

"To whom am I speaking? Your real personality or the one you have online?"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."