Digital Communication Analyst Gifts

"You know, there are other emojis."

"This is Munch's 'Sent to all by mistake'."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"You are still here."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"I meant the dog!"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

"Do you promise to love, laugh and send cute pics of the cats even if you're just in the next room?"

Boss and worker communicating in exclaimation marks.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

"You're all hashtag summarily dismissed."

'He's not a 'bad' phone. He's just not a 'smart' phone.'

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

'I just e-mailed you, 'good night,' but it got bounced back, so, good night.'

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

'With my new phone I can lie out of both side of my mouth 24/7.'

"Mommy uses emojis when she texts me bedtime stories."

"Linda, is it proper etiquette to announce layoffs via a Tweet?"

"And do you also promise to be LinkedIn for life, facebook friends forever and to stay off Tinder till you're burnt to a cinder?"

'Oh no, not another tweet!'

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Facebookdead

"We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontational verbal interfacing."

'Are you two still not texting?'

"If I could take back ninety per cent of the things I say, then I think people would know the real me."

"I write reactionary half-truths and broad generalizations, therefore I am."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"Does God have his own Web site so I could e-mail my prayers to him?"

"They see you when you're sleeping - They know when you're awake..."