Digital Media Analyst Gifts

"I only subscribe to complain about the cartoons."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Hate Platforms

"My email is down... talk to me."

The Anti-Agent

British savings accounts

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

In the Guru District

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Fear/Knowledge

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"You know, there are other emojis."

Press Freedom

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

Time for More Paperwork