Digital Age Demystifier Gifts

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

"The Internet ate my baby!"

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

Modern Life Blues

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

Statue of liberty selfie

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

"Buy my data $20"

"Embarrassing things that happen to you in the bedroom stay in the bedroom. . . and on facebook."

"All the better to ignore you with."

Books On Paper