Digital Age Defier Gifts

"He loves reading, hates digital technology, and cares for the planet, so has decided to go paperless."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Online form - Submit.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Trust me, I'm a robot."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

Modern Life Blues

"The Internet ate my baby!"

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Statue of liberty selfie

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

"Buy my data $20"

"All the better to ignore you with."