Dietary Freedom Gifts

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Two vegans, please."

"Privates Beach"

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Chocs away.

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"You won’t need refills."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Macho Vegetarian

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

“Children hate me.”